Derek (mass): Who wants to go to the fair this weekend and eat bad food and people watch?
Me: I might be busy. Also, I might be free. Def one of those two
Derek: Your worthless
Me: You're*
Derek: No I did that on purpose so I didn't have to text extra key strokes
Me: Oh yea? And look at where that plan got you.
Derek: Lol. Now I'm stuck explaining myself to a retard
Me: ^_^
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
We're Mature Adults
Me: Yea, sorry I'm a little late, they had some additional duties for me today.
Molly: Ya? Now when you say duty, do you...
Me: Hehe, DUTY
Molly: haha
Me: hahaha
Both of us:
^_^
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAomgmycheekshurt!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Molly: Ya? Now when you say duty, do you...
Me: Hehe, DUTY
Molly: haha
Me: hahaha
Both of us:
^_^
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAomgmycheekshurt!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Stoopid texts
(I just saw Pan's Labyrinth. That movie rules)
Text to a lotta people: Have you guys seen Pan's Labyrinth?
Matt's GF Jordan: Yeah, its one of my all-time favorite movies.
Me: Make Matt and Eddie watch it. They prolly won't take just my word for it.
Jordan: I tried with matt already. He hates subtitles.
Me: :|
Jordan: Isn't it amazing, though?
Me: One of the best movies I've ever seen.
Jordan: :)
Me: :)
Jordan: :)
Me: :)
Jordan: :)
Me: :)
Jordan: Maybe not ALL is lost with you Vice boys :)
Me: Bread makes me poop!
Jordan: .... *facepalm*
(After establishing that I'd bring Molly to meet the bros at Matt's house)
Me: Do you like how I not only invited myself over, but also gave you an errand? :)
Me: The errand being 'make sure your place doesn't look shitty'
Matt: You is the douche.
Me: Thats right, THE douche!
Matt: Molly isn't allergic to cats or dogs is she?
Me: No
Matt: Good, cuz my place is saturated with dander =p
Me: Sounds... Dandy!
Matt: We are no longer friends.
Molly: amg. Lawton is like Oklahoma's armpit.
Text to a lotta people: Have you guys seen Pan's Labyrinth?
Matt's GF Jordan: Yeah, its one of my all-time favorite movies.
Me: Make Matt and Eddie watch it. They prolly won't take just my word for it.
Jordan: I tried with matt already. He hates subtitles.
Me: :|
Jordan: Isn't it amazing, though?
Me: One of the best movies I've ever seen.
Jordan: :)
Me: :)
Jordan: :)
Me: :)
Jordan: :)
Me: :)
Jordan: Maybe not ALL is lost with you Vice boys :)
Me: Bread makes me poop!
Jordan: .... *facepalm*
(After establishing that I'd bring Molly to meet the bros at Matt's house)
Me: Do you like how I not only invited myself over, but also gave you an errand? :)
Me: The errand being 'make sure your place doesn't look shitty'
Matt: You is the douche.
Me: Thats right, THE douche!
Matt: Molly isn't allergic to cats or dogs is she?
Me: No
Matt: Good, cuz my place is saturated with dander =p
Me: Sounds... Dandy!
Matt: We are no longer friends.
Molly: amg. Lawton is like Oklahoma's armpit.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Vegas Vacation
We kicked things off with a 1120 mile roadtrip! So long. So much mooning between the two cars. Oh God, the asses I've seen...
We went and ate at In-N-Out Burger. Californians will tell you that they have the best burgers ever made! I wouldn't say all that, I'd prolly put them up there on par with Carls Jr and Whataburger (when you do it right). But I WILL say that they have the best menu I've ever seen! It's small, about the size of the top of a classroom desk. On the left side it has 3 options: Burger, Cheeseburger, Double Cheeseburger. On the right you have: Small, Medium, or Large Fries; and below that: Small, Medium, Large Drink. POW. This place is Burgers and Fries, period. If you want a chicken sandwich, then GTFO.
We went on the town! At Imperial Palace we walked through and saw some cross dressers singing like celebrity women (Abort! Abort!) At O'Shea's the gang played Craps while I stood there confused, contemplating running over and rubbing the midget on the top of his head. At Caesar's Palace, I put 10 bucks in a slot machine and walked away with 120! At Treasure Island, we saw the pirate ship show outside and I learned the Fire is Hot. At the Mirage, Luke (who was being wheelchaired around like a gangsta) played War, put down $40 and walked away with $160, Vegas Vacation style. At the Flamingo we all lost a lot of money at Blackjack, because we were all too busy being distracted by pole dancers (not nude, calm down gang) in the middle set there to distract us long enough to think that hitting on a 19 is a GREAT idea.
We went to Gold and Silver Pawn! The luxurious site of the show Pawn Stars! While I was there I saw a Civil War era mortar cannon for around $65,000, and a Rolex watch worth about $32,000. I have to imagine how they would react these days if some fool went in their with his $20 power drill and wanted to pawn it. GTFO
We went to Mandalay Bay and saw a buncha fish! Including the majestic Pufferfish
T: Dad look its a Pufferfish!
T's Dad: Is it puffed up? Looks pretty big (ed. about the size of a Christmas ham)
Me: Nah its actually calmed down right now. Prolly even in a good mood.
T's Dad: I'd kinda like to see it mad and puffed out.
T: Yea me too, that'd be awesome
Me: Hey Pufferfish! Guess what I heard! I heard yo mama so fat, she played pool with the planets!
Pufferfish: FOOMPH! >:(
T: Wow, I can't believe that actually worked...
We went to the rehearsal dinner, and Luke's dad got us drunk! Not on purpose, but kind of on purpose. From what I understand, for big reserved dinners like that, the restaurant will usually require that the patron spend $X on the whole meal, sometimes in the thousands. So I have assume that when Luke's dad came up encouraging to make all the drink orders we saw fit, thats where he was coming from. POW. It'll be another looooong time before I try Grey Goose, Sapphire, some more Grey Goose, and whatever they decided to make that Appletini with (which was pretty heavy on the Tini, *hic*)
We went and saw Luke and Mandi get married! ..... to eachother! Hooray! It was a great wedding, one of the best I've been to overall. No nonsense. Except for the part where it was outside, in the middle of August, in the desert of Las Vegas. I mean really? Really? Really? I told Mandi I give the wedding 4 1/2 stars. She she gave me that look. So I told her it was out of 4 1/2 stars max.
We stayed in a room more expensive than your month's rent! The deal was that T's parents had troubles with their room, so rather than have the hotel move them to a different, equal room, instead they were bumped up to what I want to assume is a high roller's suite. It was from this $750-1000/night room that we got an outstanding view of the entire strip. They had everything, jets in the bathtubs, tvs in the mirror, 6 flatscreen tvs in 3 rooms, the window WAS one of the walls, and room service was actually like $15 a person. I slept on the couch, and that was still better than all past 3 nights sleeping in our room at Imperial Palace.
We took another longass roadtrip home! And I took a nap for a day.
We went and ate at In-N-Out Burger. Californians will tell you that they have the best burgers ever made! I wouldn't say all that, I'd prolly put them up there on par with Carls Jr and Whataburger (when you do it right). But I WILL say that they have the best menu I've ever seen! It's small, about the size of the top of a classroom desk. On the left side it has 3 options: Burger, Cheeseburger, Double Cheeseburger. On the right you have: Small, Medium, or Large Fries; and below that: Small, Medium, Large Drink. POW. This place is Burgers and Fries, period. If you want a chicken sandwich, then GTFO.
We went on the town! At Imperial Palace we walked through and saw some cross dressers singing like celebrity women (Abort! Abort!) At O'Shea's the gang played Craps while I stood there confused, contemplating running over and rubbing the midget on the top of his head. At Caesar's Palace, I put 10 bucks in a slot machine and walked away with 120! At Treasure Island, we saw the pirate ship show outside and I learned the Fire is Hot. At the Mirage, Luke (who was being wheelchaired around like a gangsta) played War, put down $40 and walked away with $160, Vegas Vacation style. At the Flamingo we all lost a lot of money at Blackjack, because we were all too busy being distracted by pole dancers (not nude, calm down gang) in the middle set there to distract us long enough to think that hitting on a 19 is a GREAT idea.
We went to Gold and Silver Pawn! The luxurious site of the show Pawn Stars! While I was there I saw a Civil War era mortar cannon for around $65,000, and a Rolex watch worth about $32,000. I have to imagine how they would react these days if some fool went in their with his $20 power drill and wanted to pawn it. GTFO
We went to Mandalay Bay and saw a buncha fish! Including the majestic Pufferfish
T: Dad look its a Pufferfish!
T's Dad: Is it puffed up? Looks pretty big (ed. about the size of a Christmas ham)
Me: Nah its actually calmed down right now. Prolly even in a good mood.
T's Dad: I'd kinda like to see it mad and puffed out.
T: Yea me too, that'd be awesome
Me: Hey Pufferfish! Guess what I heard! I heard yo mama so fat, she played pool with the planets!
Pufferfish: FOOMPH! >:(
T: Wow, I can't believe that actually worked...
We went to the rehearsal dinner, and Luke's dad got us drunk! Not on purpose, but kind of on purpose. From what I understand, for big reserved dinners like that, the restaurant will usually require that the patron spend $X on the whole meal, sometimes in the thousands. So I have assume that when Luke's dad came up encouraging to make all the drink orders we saw fit, thats where he was coming from. POW. It'll be another looooong time before I try Grey Goose, Sapphire, some more Grey Goose, and whatever they decided to make that Appletini with (which was pretty heavy on the Tini, *hic*)
We went and saw Luke and Mandi get married! ..... to eachother! Hooray! It was a great wedding, one of the best I've been to overall. No nonsense. Except for the part where it was outside, in the middle of August, in the desert of Las Vegas. I mean really? Really? Really? I told Mandi I give the wedding 4 1/2 stars. She she gave me that look. So I told her it was out of 4 1/2 stars max.
We stayed in a room more expensive than your month's rent! The deal was that T's parents had troubles with their room, so rather than have the hotel move them to a different, equal room, instead they were bumped up to what I want to assume is a high roller's suite. It was from this $750-1000/night room that we got an outstanding view of the entire strip. They had everything, jets in the bathtubs, tvs in the mirror, 6 flatscreen tvs in 3 rooms, the window WAS one of the walls, and room service was actually like $15 a person. I slept on the couch, and that was still better than all past 3 nights sleeping in our room at Imperial Palace.
We took another longass roadtrip home! And I took a nap for a day.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Give 'er the ole stinkeye
While sitting around and watching Deep Impact on TNT.
T's Mom: Man, an asteroid coming to destroy earth. What would you guys do if you knew that was gonna happen?
Derek: I know what I'd do. I'd run up my credit card. BIGTIME.
T's Mom: /facepalm
Me: I'd run around nonstop. NAKED. I wouldn't even give a good gawdam!
T: LOL
Me: Wait... WAIT. Damn, nvm. The president would declare martial law, and I'm in the military. So I'd almost certainly be ordered to run around and arbitrarily shoot people in the face.
Derek: You're an accountant. You don't know how to use a gun.
Me: I would start by shooting Derek.
Derek: Hello Mr. Recruiter man, I would like to join the United States Air Force, to spite Doug.
Me: Aw dammit
(movie shows an old, rough guy standing on a beach, looking toward the sky in waiting)
Topher: See, THAT'S what I'd do. I'd stand on a cliff and start staring that fucker down.
All of us: ^_^
T's Mom: Man, an asteroid coming to destroy earth. What would you guys do if you knew that was gonna happen?
Derek: I know what I'd do. I'd run up my credit card. BIGTIME.
T's Mom: /facepalm
Me: I'd run around nonstop. NAKED. I wouldn't even give a good gawdam!
T: LOL
Me: Wait... WAIT. Damn, nvm. The president would declare martial law, and I'm in the military. So I'd almost certainly be ordered to run around and arbitrarily shoot people in the face.
Derek: You're an accountant. You don't know how to use a gun.
Me: I would start by shooting Derek.
Derek: Hello Mr. Recruiter man, I would like to join the United States Air Force, to spite Doug.
Me: Aw dammit
(movie shows an old, rough guy standing on a beach, looking toward the sky in waiting)
Topher: See, THAT'S what I'd do. I'd stand on a cliff and start staring that fucker down.
All of us: ^_^
Monday, August 2, 2010
Operation Breaking Moon
First off, a brief exchange at the chow hall earlier.
Me: Lessee okay I'll have steak please, and mashed potatoes and gravy, and corn
Him: /snoot, ACTUALLY SIR, its Succotash. Not corn.
Me: Oh ya? Well I called it corn, and you knew exactly what I was talking about. So guess what the hell it's called NOW?
Alright, enough douchebaggery :p
Well not quite
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/18/AR2010021805888.html
If you clicked the link, you're reading correctly. If you're too lazy to click, and who can blame you, Operation Iraqi Freedom has had its name recently changed in order to reflect a new mission goal. It is now called Operation New Dawn.
Operation.... NEW..... DAWN.....
I would like to make it abundantly clear that this new name has in no way anything to do with anything related to popular culture.... at all. Srsly you guys.
JFC I don't even know what kind of jokes I should make here. Except that if they decide to break down further, and rename operations in Iraq Team Edward and Afghanistan Team Jacob, I'll damn jump out of a window.
But just a first story window, don't worry. I'll prolly roll an ankle or something, and be pissed'er.
Me: Lessee okay I'll have steak please, and mashed potatoes and gravy, and corn
Him: /snoot, ACTUALLY SIR, its Succotash. Not corn.
Me: Oh ya? Well I called it corn, and you knew exactly what I was talking about. So guess what the hell it's called NOW?
Alright, enough douchebaggery :p
Well not quite
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/18/AR2010021805888.html
If you clicked the link, you're reading correctly. If you're too lazy to click, and who can blame you, Operation Iraqi Freedom has had its name recently changed in order to reflect a new mission goal. It is now called Operation New Dawn.
Operation.... NEW..... DAWN.....
I would like to make it abundantly clear that this new name has in no way anything to do with anything related to popular culture.... at all. Srsly you guys.
JFC I don't even know what kind of jokes I should make here. Except that if they decide to break down further, and rename operations in Iraq Team Edward and Afghanistan Team Jacob, I'll damn jump out of a window.
But just a first story window, don't worry. I'll prolly roll an ankle or something, and be pissed'er.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Luke should eat more dairy
Good grief, there are no words to describe this weekend.
.....Oh wait a minute, yes there are! Quite a bit, actually!
I'll just deliver the punchline right now. We went Paintballing, and Luke broke his leg. Bwaaaaaaaaa
How did he do it? Simple. He ran about twenty feet. In a straight line. Guess he just landed his right foot the wrong way and *crunch*. It really puts things into perspective, you know. Cuz when we go running for AF PT, we'll go maybe 2 miles? Man, eff that, now.
All I remember is sitting on the sidelines, chilling while people shot at eachother, because I had been shot out of the game early AGAIN. And all of a sudden I see Luke going:
Luke: Okay u guyz! We gonna run out and shoot people with paintballs! Herp Derp!
(running.... running.... CRUNCH!)
Luke: Ow! My tibia and fibia!!
Thats right folks, dude didn't just break his leg, he destroyed it. Both Tibia and Fibia got blow'd up.
So this is all terrible news, but it gets even terrible-er. For three reasons!
1) Location. Location. Location. When he chose to destroy his leg, he chose to do so while we were in one of the two deep woods courses. We had trekked quite a bit into the woods to partake in the "WWII course", over the river and through the woods and up and down steep dirt paths and across a rickety bridge about half a person wide. And we of course had to carry his fat ass back! Luke could at least have had the common decency to injure himself at one of the 4 courses adjacent to the parking lot. faaaaaakkkkkkk
2) Luke is getting married. In two weeks. Thats right, this was all a part of his bachelor party, for our hero Luke will be marrying the lovely Mandi in two weeks. His injury is unfortunately such that he will have to crutch himself down the aisle, and he will not be able to dance :( No jokes here, that's legitimately sad, and I feel for the guy. When Mandi got to the hospital, you could tell that she wasn't mad, she was really quite concerned and just wanted to make sure her guy was okay. But she is also not amused >.>
3) The very day before, Luke wrecked his car. Need I say more? Not really.
Soo..... yeeeaaaaaa......
.....Oh wait a minute, yes there are! Quite a bit, actually!
I'll just deliver the punchline right now. We went Paintballing, and Luke broke his leg. Bwaaaaaaaaa
How did he do it? Simple. He ran about twenty feet. In a straight line. Guess he just landed his right foot the wrong way and *crunch*. It really puts things into perspective, you know. Cuz when we go running for AF PT, we'll go maybe 2 miles? Man, eff that, now.
All I remember is sitting on the sidelines, chilling while people shot at eachother, because I had been shot out of the game early AGAIN. And all of a sudden I see Luke going:
Luke: Okay u guyz! We gonna run out and shoot people with paintballs! Herp Derp!
(running.... running.... CRUNCH!)
Luke: Ow! My tibia and fibia!!
Thats right folks, dude didn't just break his leg, he destroyed it. Both Tibia and Fibia got blow'd up.
So this is all terrible news, but it gets even terrible-er. For three reasons!
1) Location. Location. Location. When he chose to destroy his leg, he chose to do so while we were in one of the two deep woods courses. We had trekked quite a bit into the woods to partake in the "WWII course", over the river and through the woods and up and down steep dirt paths and across a rickety bridge about half a person wide. And we of course had to carry his fat ass back! Luke could at least have had the common decency to injure himself at one of the 4 courses adjacent to the parking lot. faaaaaakkkkkkk
2) Luke is getting married. In two weeks. Thats right, this was all a part of his bachelor party, for our hero Luke will be marrying the lovely Mandi in two weeks. His injury is unfortunately such that he will have to crutch himself down the aisle, and he will not be able to dance :( No jokes here, that's legitimately sad, and I feel for the guy. When Mandi got to the hospital, you could tell that she wasn't mad, she was really quite concerned and just wanted to make sure her guy was okay. But she is also not amused >.>
3) The very day before, Luke wrecked his car. Need I say more? Not really.
Soo..... yeeeaaaaaa......
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