Monday, July 26, 2010

Luke should eat more dairy

Good grief, there are no words to describe this weekend.

.....Oh wait a minute, yes there are! Quite a bit, actually!

I'll just deliver the punchline right now. We went Paintballing, and Luke broke his leg. Bwaaaaaaaaa

How did he do it? Simple. He ran about twenty feet. In a straight line. Guess he just landed his right foot the wrong way and *crunch*. It really puts things into perspective, you know. Cuz when we go running for AF PT, we'll go maybe 2 miles? Man, eff that, now.

All I remember is sitting on the sidelines, chilling while people shot at eachother, because I had been shot out of the game early AGAIN. And all of a sudden I see Luke going:

Luke: Okay u guyz! We gonna run out and shoot people with paintballs! Herp Derp!

(running.... running.... CRUNCH!)

Luke: Ow! My tibia and fibia!!

Thats right folks, dude didn't just break his leg, he destroyed it. Both Tibia and Fibia got blow'd up.

So this is all terrible news, but it gets even terrible-er. For three reasons!

1) Location. Location. Location. When he chose to destroy his leg, he chose to do so while we were in one of the two deep woods courses. We had trekked quite a bit into the woods to partake in the "WWII course", over the river and through the woods and up and down steep dirt paths and across a rickety bridge about half a person wide. And we of course had to carry his fat ass back! Luke could at least have had the common decency to injure himself at one of the 4 courses adjacent to the parking lot. faaaaaakkkkkkk

2) Luke is getting married. In two weeks. Thats right, this was all a part of his bachelor party, for our hero Luke will be marrying the lovely Mandi in two weeks. His injury is unfortunately such that he will have to crutch himself down the aisle, and he will not be able to dance :( No jokes here, that's legitimately sad, and I feel for the guy. When Mandi got to the hospital, you could tell that she wasn't mad, she was really quite concerned and just wanted to make sure her guy was okay. But she is also not amused >.>

3) The very day before, Luke wrecked his car. Need I say more? Not really.

Soo..... yeeeaaaaaa......

Monday, July 19, 2010

I can see my house from here...

So last night, I had an amazing dream. I was flying! Doesn't sound so great, but once you're actually doing it its an amazing feeling :)

I just spent the whole night zipping around the state of Oklahoma like I was Superman. Just flying everywhere, fast as a jet. One of the things I would have to do is if I wanted to go faster, I would just tense up my legs and I guess that gave me more umph. As the night went on, my legs started to get more and more tired, in the dream, and I would just have to tense up harder to get the same effect. But eventually it all ended and I woke up.

And when I woke up, I couldn't move. Because from 6+ hours of keeping my legs tensed up, they were all sweaty and wore the hell out. Right about the time my alarm went off at 0600, and I had to get up for PT. Today we had to run sprints


So I went out there and met with the squadron, and we started running

"*pant* *pant* Ah meh gaw! Oh lawd! Oh jezzuz hep meh! Hemah! Hemah! I can't go on guys, just lemme alone!"

"Doug, you're an idiot, you've only done half a lap so far"

"I can't! I! blaaarrggg"

"....did you just say 'Blarg'?"

I was on a date last night =)

No details about this girl just yet, but one thing to share is that she really likes the band All American Rejects.

Me: Really? Have I told you about the time that I accidentally started the band AAR?


Me: Haha well its like this... (tells the story)

Her: Holy crap! Is that true?

Me: Ha, yea it sure is. I promise you.

Her: I don't believe it, I feel like I'm here with a rock star =)

Me: Ha, I know! Sometimes I wish I could've stuck with it. Think about it, right now I could in a rock band, on a tour bus surrounded by....

Her: /glare

Me: .......uh, sound equipment, merch, guitar techs...

Her: Uh huh. COUCH!!

Me: Aww

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Fifth!.... Wait, sh*t

At the risk of sounding sacrilegious, I bet God wakes up some days and say "You know what? You suck Doug. I'm about to magic your day to be all kinds of jacked! POW!"

Short story shorter, I had to run 6k at 0630. 5.9k of which I spent clenching and trying to resist a situation created by intense but short-term runner-rhea, causing me to get beaten by my female officer leaders who usually finish 3-4 minutes AFTER me. Then upon getting to the office, after having run 6k no matter the conditions, I sat in an hour long meeting using my full mental faculties attempting to NOT pass the hell out. Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkk

Why was God sippin on all this hater-ade? Prolly cuz I went to the casino on Monday ^_^

Thats right! Sigma patriarch and old school gangsta, Gabe, was in town with some of his students and a bunch of us decided to gather up and try our luck at the Riverwind. I didn't play much, I mostly observed, BUT I DID play Blackjack for the first time.

It was intense. I knew the basic rules, but didn't know a damn thing for strategy, insofar as how I should act based on my card AND the dealer's card, the perfect time to double down, what insurance is, blah blah. Also I had some of my attention to both lol at Derek putting the moves on one of Gabe's girl students, and trying to keep my head on a swivel so I could dodge being seen by a cocktail waitress that works there that I had a bad experience with once (but that's another blog entirely =) ).

At the end of it all, I started with $40, and quit with $70! BAM! I tossed the dealer a $5 chip on a split second ahwhatdoicare thought, and peaced out from the table.

Lastly a quote from Topher, a dealer at a different Casino:

"Yea, Riverwind MIGHT have Craps, but you don't want to play it. No casino in Oklahoma has Craps with dice, its all with cards. It's in the law somewhere, it can only be cards. So we don't have real Craps, we have crappy Craps...... we have Shits"

Friday, July 9, 2010


So today I started the day off right. With a 5k run! What!

Normally running that far first thing on a Friday aint so bad. But this time it was. Why? Cuz my roommate was up til like 12:40 ish either running the shower or talking on the phone. Why the devil must I have a roommate thats so dirty and popular??....... And are those two things related??

Nevermind that I had two Mountain Dews and took a nap earlier that evening so I couldn't sleep anyway. If that business kept up, I'd of hate to beat up my roommate.

"But Doug! Your roommate is black. Wouldn't that be a hate crime? Hahaha"

Of course it would be! I HATE being kept up that late! It's annoying!

"......Doug I don't think 'hate crime' means what you think it means"

Aaaaaanyways I had no REAL trouble with this 5k run. Mostly cuz I've been working my ass off, literally, trying to prepare for my PT test that I took yesterday. I've been doin way lots of extra running and weightlifting for the last 3 months, and I've been eating like a rabbit the last two weeks. And after all that hard work, difficult eating, vitamin taking, and preemptive bowel evacuation, I did my PT and PASSED THAT FREAKER.

So now that that's happened, this weekend is dedicated to pizza, beer, sitting on my ass, and getting ready to be fat again! Hooray ^_^

Thursday, July 8, 2010


So, yea. I'm now abstaining from Myspace/Facebook/Twitter blogs, notes, text messages, etc etc. And now I'm here with an all new real deal blog.

What to say on my first blog in the new era of not shutting up. Hmmmmmm

(insert fart jokes here)