Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Vegas Vacation

We kicked things off with a 1120 mile roadtrip! So long. So much mooning between the two cars. Oh God, the asses I've seen...

We went and ate at In-N-Out Burger. Californians will tell you that they have the best burgers ever made! I wouldn't say all that, I'd prolly put them up there on par with Carls Jr and Whataburger (when you do it right). But I WILL say that they have the best menu I've ever seen! It's small, about the size of the top of a classroom desk. On the left side it has 3 options: Burger, Cheeseburger, Double Cheeseburger. On the right you have: Small, Medium, or Large Fries; and below that: Small, Medium, Large Drink. POW. This place is Burgers and Fries, period. If you want a chicken sandwich, then GTFO.

We went on the town! At Imperial Palace we walked through and saw some cross dressers singing like celebrity women (Abort! Abort!) At O'Shea's the gang played Craps while I stood there confused, contemplating running over and rubbing the midget on the top of his head. At Caesar's Palace, I put 10 bucks in a slot machine and walked away with 120! At Treasure Island, we saw the pirate ship show outside and I learned the Fire is Hot. At the Mirage, Luke (who was being wheelchaired around like a gangsta) played War, put down $40 and walked away with $160, Vegas Vacation style. At the Flamingo we all lost a lot of money at Blackjack, because we were all too busy being distracted by pole dancers (not nude, calm down gang) in the middle set there to distract us long enough to think that hitting on a 19 is a GREAT idea.

We went to Gold and Silver Pawn! The luxurious site of the show Pawn Stars! While I was there I saw a Civil War era mortar cannon for around $65,000, and a Rolex watch worth about $32,000. I have to imagine how they would react these days if some fool went in their with his $20 power drill and wanted to pawn it. GTFO

We went to Mandalay Bay and saw a buncha fish! Including the majestic Pufferfish

T: Dad look its a Pufferfish!

T's Dad: Is it puffed up? Looks pretty big (ed. about the size of a Christmas ham)

Me: Nah its actually calmed down right now. Prolly even in a good mood.

T's Dad: I'd kinda like to see it mad and puffed out.

T: Yea me too, that'd be awesome

Me: Hey Pufferfish! Guess what I heard! I heard yo mama so fat, she played pool with the planets!

Pufferfish: FOOMPH! >:(

T: Wow, I can't believe that actually worked...

We went to the rehearsal dinner, and Luke's dad got us drunk! Not on purpose, but kind of on purpose. From what I understand, for big reserved dinners like that, the restaurant will usually require that the patron spend $X on the whole meal, sometimes in the thousands. So I have assume that when Luke's dad came up encouraging to make all the drink orders we saw fit, thats where he was coming from. POW. It'll be another looooong time before I try Grey Goose, Sapphire, some more Grey Goose, and whatever they decided to make that Appletini with (which was pretty heavy on the Tini, *hic*)

We went and saw Luke and Mandi get married! ..... to eachother! Hooray! It was a great wedding, one of the best I've been to overall. No nonsense. Except for the part where it was outside, in the middle of August, in the desert of Las Vegas. I mean really? Really? Really? I told Mandi I give the wedding 4 1/2 stars. She she gave me that look. So I told her it was out of 4 1/2 stars max.

We stayed in a room more expensive than your month's rent! The deal was that T's parents had troubles with their room, so rather than have the hotel move them to a different, equal room, instead they were bumped up to what I want to assume is a high roller's suite. It was from this $750-1000/night room that we got an outstanding view of the entire strip. They had everything, jets in the bathtubs, tvs in the mirror, 6 flatscreen tvs in 3 rooms, the window WAS one of the walls, and room service was actually like $15 a person. I slept on the couch, and that was still better than all past 3 nights sleeping in our room at Imperial Palace.

We took another longass roadtrip home! And I took a nap for a day.

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